I Think It's Important To E X P L O R E . . .

Really, I do. We have this whole world at our finger tips -- so many different cultures, cities, rolling hills, road-side diners. When I was a little girl, I told my mother that I wanted to live each year in a different place, simply so I could expereince the feeling of what it means to be a true part of said-place, & not just be a tourist. Now is the time for me to do just that. 

There are so many things I want to say; so many things I want to write about. The running list I keep is a compilation of singular moments, that will someday hopefully all come together to create something beautiful -- 

The time I was at a half-star motel in Arizona & saw a girl in an old high school sweatshirt sitting on the steps smoking a lonely cigarette. 

The feeling that goes along with sitting alone on your porch at night; listening to old "annnd here's Frank Sinatra!" tracks while eating Chinese out of cute little boxes as the breeze takes control of the world around you and sends a single soda can clicking down the empty street, momentarily interrupting poor Frank & the boys. 

When you take on a solo road trip, and that indescribable feeling of freedom hits you every time you realize the power & independence you hold in your hands as you grasp that wheel. 

When you cross a state line for the very first time, perfect song escaping on full volume out your open windows, and you know in your heart you will never be able to experience that "first" again. 

That one night you sat there under your hometown stars with the three people that mean the most to you in the world, playing cards by candle light & pretending like your universe wasn't about to be turned upside down in a few days by the deceptive force that commonly goes by the name of "college". 

Exploring is more than landmarks and theme parks. It's all of those feelings, expereinces, moments & more; and it's the people you expereince them with. So go drink a beer in Nashville; slide up onto a New York barstool & order a Manhattan like it's nobody's business; pop open a bottle of sparkling champagne in Paris. And you know those beautiful human beings who love you because you're you? Who you can't imagine living without? Pack them in your suitcase and bring them along. 

Someday, I will write a book. Someday, you'll be walking through Barnes & Noble and see my name there, on the "Up & Coming Fiction" table, between Maupin and Moyes. And your eyes will do a double-take. You'll pick it up, and some line like "I went to high school with this girl" or "Wow, when I knew her she was so quiet, is this really hers?" will run through your mind. And I hope you'll want to read it. 

It will be filled with moments like the ones above, and many more that I have not expereinced yet. So I suppose I'm just as in the dark as you are, friend-that-just-picked-up-my-future-novel. Who knows what's filling those pages; I sure don't, at least not yet. But I can assure you they will be living, breathing words that I hold dear to my heart -- and I hope you will be able to get some life out of them too. I hope they will encourage you to go out and start your own mod-podge of moments. You can't go looking for them, you simply have to go out and wait for them to find you. They will, I promise - and when they do, you'll be ready. You'll know when they arrive because a familiar yet completely unique sensation will come over you, and you'll know you absolutely, without a doubt, need to write this down.

xoxo, lauren  

A Letter To Myself

Dear Future-Teacher-Me,

    Today you woke up and realized something: you're a ''real'' adult now. With a ''real'' job.
. . . And you're going to impact  R E A L  lives.

    The kids aren't always going to listen to you, they won't always get perfect grades, and they certainly will not always be simple. But it is going to be worth it -- because they will grow, and you'll grow along with them.

    It's scary, being the one in charge. You are going to have to be a leader and learn to stand up for what you want your classroom to look like. The way you impact your students on the first day is critical -- they need to know that even though you are soft-spoken (and almost as tall as many of them) that you still intend to be listened to.

    Classroom management and attitude is oh-so-important. My students need to know that I am on their side. They need to know the classroom is a safe place; a place where everyone (including me) shares one common goal: to improve & truly learn. I want to be on their side. I want to encourage them not only in their academics but in their social and mental skills.

    This is a big task to take on, but remember you have been trained for this! You have read all the books and observed all the schools - now it's your turn. Practice what you preach, woman. You've worked & studied & prayed for this. You can do it.

    You know it will be a learning process, and you need to always remember that, especially on your worst days. There will always be some days that are better than others; days where you wish you had a simple desk job instead of a crazy, stressful, frustrating, saddening, teaching position. But that's what you get when you work with precious little human souls, you get real life. You get it handed to you every day, tied with a little pink bow. Real life is all those things previously mentioned, but it is also rewarding, amazing, heartwarming, and full of innocence. It's a constantly changing tide, and you're going to have to learn to roll with the waves.

     But it will all be worth it, you'll see. Now go put on that pretty teacher dress you bought months ago while planning for this day. Feel confident. And smart. And able.

    Go out and  t e a c h.

xoxo, lauren